


you live in my dream state

by easycomeeasygo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based on a Tyler The Creator Song, M/M, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23529784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easycomeeasygo/pseuds/easycomeeasygo
Summary: Mark never thought that he had a particularly active imagination but after meeting Johnny he wonders if it’s okay just how often he lives in his daydreams.It’s always about Johnny—about a Johnny who thinks of him as much as Mark thinks of Johnny.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 16
Kudos: 75





	you live in my dream state

**Author's Note:**

> I've been listening to a stupid amount of Tyler, The Creator lately because he's the fucking best. This was very hastily written at 2 am and unbeta'd.
> 
> This is based on See You Again from Flower Boy ([ Please listen to it!](https://open.spotify.com/track/7KA4W4McWYRpgf0fWsJZWB?si=Iflm9GFRSQCtIBp4NdnGoA) )

Mark isn’t sure how he ended up so close to Taeyong and the rest of his friends other than a chance meeting with Taeyong that ended with him demanding Mark’s number and immediately inviting him to hang out with him and his friends. As spring gives way to the hot heat of summer, he finds himself more often than not, in the living room of Taeyong and Jaehyun’s house across the city, watching as Johnny rolls the joint from the weed that Yuta brings over. 

He wonders if summer is always going to feel like a time loop, endless living rooms filled with pot and Frank Ocean playing in the background, and once the sun begins to dip, bottles and cans of alcohol.

He watches Johnny stick his tongue out and lick the edge of the rolling paper and he wonders if he’s ever going to grow out of this.

“What time is everyone coming,” Yuta asks suddenly from next to Mark, startling him. 

“8 I think,” Taeyong replies. He takes the rest of the weed from Yuta and puts it in his bowl, a bright pink piece with Hello Kitty’s face on it. “Doyoungie’s coming right?”

Yuta nods, “Yeah, he was just running late. Said he’s stopping at Whole Foods to grab more beer.”

“What about food and liquor,” Taeyong pouts. “And Birthday cake?”

“Kun and Sicheng are bringing cake from Kun’s bakery,” Jaehyun replies. 

“I brought liquor already and Taeil picked up food for us. He should be here soon,” Johnny adds. “Stop worrying so much, it’s your birthday. We took care of everything, Taeyong.”

Taeyong pouts one last time before finally taking a hit from the bowl, satisfied with their answers and unable to come up with any other worries.

Johnny gets up and Mark watches as his tee-shirt begins to ride up as he stretches his arms over his head. 

“Yo Morkly,” he calls out, “Come help me get plates and beers for everyone.”

“Don’t tell Taeyong but fuck, is my jet lag so bad,” he says nonchalantly once they’re in the kitchen and out of earshot. 

“Hahaha, yeah I bet,” Mark replies, “Didn’t you just get back like 3 days ago?” 

“Yeah, Japan is dope but jet leg really is not. I’m gonna crash the second this party is over. My sleep schedule has been all over the place, but it’s Taeyong you know?”

It’s little things like this, little bits of Johnny he hands to Mark on a silver platter that keeps him hanging onto Johnny and wrapping himself around him like a tendril. 

“Yeah, I get it. I’m sure he’s glad you made it back for this.”

Johnny is incredibly out of Mark’s league. He’s _cool_ , effortless in the way he always dreamed of being instead of just finally growing out of his awkward phase at 21. He does photography for a living, traveling anywhere and everywhere with his camera hanging off his neck while Mark just got an absolutely boring 9-5 tech job, fresh out of college, going the safe route and ignoring the feeling he gets each time his guitar is in his hands.

Mark tucks away every little bit of himself that he shares with him. From mundane shit like fucking jet lag and how the kush he grew sucks to more substantial things like ideas for future shoots and drunkenly telling Mark at 3 am in Yuta and Doyoung's backyard as the firepit is on its dying flames about how his dreams don't feel as out of reach anymore.

Johnny is just so fucking _cool,_ the way a real fucking human being shouldn't ever be able to be. 

-

Mark isn’t sure how he ended up sitting in a corner of the backyard alone stoned as fuck, but he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind the break from trailing Johnny around the party, hanging off of his every step. He likes the solitude of it, how easy it is to get a second to process being himself before going back to everyone. 

  
Mark goes to run his hand through his hair when his finger catches on the joint that Johnny had rolled earlier and tucked behind Mark’s ear as “a little treat for my best bro.”

He double-checks his pocket and is relieved to find the pink lighter he swiped from Donghyuck a few days ago. 

He lights the joint, inhaling deeply, and zones the fuck out. Of course, zoning out lately just means his thoughts are flooded with Johnny, a deluge of affection coming out from deep inside, from where Mark tries to keep it safe and away. It almost feels inevitable that he developed such a crush on Johnny, how could he not? Not when Johnny is kind, talented, and so fucking handsome. He always makes time for Mark, even if he’s just this kid who Taeyong seemingly picked up and demanded his friends adopt as well.

Mark never thought that he had a particularly active imagination but after meeting Johnny he wonders if it’s okay just how often he lives in his daydreams.

It’s always about Johnny—about a Johnny who thinks of him as much as Mark thinks of Johnny. A Johnny who shotguns bong rips with him at the parties their friends throw nearly every weekend during the summer. Johnny who crashes in the guest room of Taeyong and Jaehyun’s house with him rather than make the trek across LA back to one of their places and sneaks out in the middle of the night to get ice cream from the 7-11 down the road, fingers laced together, giggles filling the warm summer night. A Johnny who listens to all of the songs Mark writes about him and takes him across the world. A Johnny who encourages Mark to make music and not push it away out of fear of failure. Johnny who photographs Mark, keeping those photos tucked away safe because he says that their love is for them only.

A Johnny who kisses him tenderly and with intent, who’s infinitely careful with Mark’s fragile heart.

For someone without an active imagination, he can easily paint every stroke of Johnny’s face: his deep brown eyes, the hint of pink dusting his cheeks after he’s had a few drinks, his cupid’s bow, his pink pink lips, the veins on his hands and arms. Mark may be oblivious 90% of the time, but his attention to Johnny’s details is immaculate. 

He wonders if the Johnny of his dreams would be here with him, teasing Mark about how fucking stoned he is and making him giggle incessantly, instead of in a different corner of the backyard with a group of people surrounding him and hanging off of every word as he talks about his last trip to Japan, courtesy of the Japan tourism board, with a beer bottle in hand and eyes verging on bloodshot.

He sighs, his joint long gone and facing the startling reality of a world where Johnny is not, and won’t ever, be his. It hurts, at least sometimes. It sometimes makes his chest feel like an open wound but sometimes it's okay just being in Johnny’s orbit.

All of it does seem okay when he walks over and Johnny calls out his name loudly with a giant smile on his face and arms out wide beckoning him over to drop an arm around his shoulder like always and with messages from Donghyuck on his phone waiting to be answered. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated 🥺  
> [talk to me about nct<3](http://www.twitter.com/fleur_cannon) | [ cc ](https://curiouscat.me/yangyangsdemonparent)


End file.
